Love is our Resistance ♥
They'll stop us from being together, but they wont tear us apart
|
Born to be called Jiaxin [Bakajia]♥
First tears on 16 sept93♥
Sweet 16 =D
Single
Life rocks with my Family, & Bakas around.
Love Pink as much as I love Jay chou=)
I'm Friendly IF u're my friend.=D
& I don't gv a damn about you if U're not my friend.
Enjoy ur stay here!~=DDD
Layout Designer:
♥chocodiiction-lovesxoxo*
Others:
♥ ♥ ♥
Oh Damn Damn tired today!
LOL
Didn't feel like coming to school in the first place.
All kor's fault.
Aarghhh~~
Make me study till so late.♥
HAHAHA,Only till 11pm nia.
But It's late for me kays?♥
I need my sleep!=)♥
Hmm,Den I have difficulties waking up.
=.=
And he's happily in his dreamland when I woke up this morning.
UNFAIR!=(
Just u wait kays?♥
Till I finish my 'O' levels.♥
HAHHAHHAHAHS!
Sometimes I rly hate Poly student.
YES! I mean it.
Cause My bro seems so DAMN free.
LOL
Go school at 8,come back at 10.
WTH?!
2 Hours study what wor.
UNFAIR UNFAIR UNFAIR.
Hahaha,Fine!
Just U wait and see,GET IT?♥
But I am happy that I have a wonderful brother like HIM.
Ahem~~
Someone who will guide me when I am lost.♥
And tell me what's right and wrong.♥
And never failed to listens to my prob.♥
AND AND AND force me to study like hell.♥
Always scared me de lols.♥
LOL=X
Kays,dun want use my whole post to compliment you.
NEVER!
Okay,today wake up late.
Arghhhh~~~
Wake up at 6.30(LATE??!)
AHEM,den leave house at 7am.
BUT......,The damn lrt got prob.
WTH?!
WE(Students & ppl going work) need to wait for 10 MINTUES.
I was like wth...
As if we got alot of time lyk tat lols.
And I am already running late le lols.
FINE.=X
Den I go over to another platform.♥
BUT......,Damn damn damn crownded.
And got this stupid guy keep pushing me.
WTH?!
And somemore I already no space liao.
He no eyes isit???!
Somemore he still got space wor.
Nvm,WO REN~~~
Arghh,I rly hate taking lrt to school.
ZZZZZZZzzzzzzzz........
Den reach school le.
Mood become very bad.
Dun noe why also.
Sit alone and EMO.
I rly hate emo and I hate emo ppl.
But why I am always stuck there?
[[?]]
Oh,den Maths lesson.
Some T'cher rly dun hv e heart to teach us de lols.
Haish,Teach dun wan teach. Do all sorts of stupid ting jiu pro la.
No offence.!
I am just staing the fact,But I still RESPECT You.
As U're still my Cher.=)
And I am so DAMN DAMN stress.
Stress over lots of ting.
One fine day,I may just go crazy and break down.
So STOP pushing ur limits.
I mean it.
I dun like what U're doing.SORRY!
Is disappointment why ur attitude is like that?
But if that's so,I should be THE ONE who should talk abt disappointment.
NOT YOU! Get It?
Yupp,You may be disappointed with ME.
But lemme tell you,I am disappointed in myself too.
Why Can't I just go back to the past?
And I swear I will never get involved in any of those relationship.♥
I will never let myself get hurt.♥
I will protect myself cos Noone else will do that,♥
But I choose to let ppl hurt me.
Dumb right?
Yes,I am so dumb.....
But I am trying to hang on there.♥
I am trying very hard to forget THOSE THING,♥
And move on with my life.♥
And put my heart and soul in my studies.♥
And complete my 'O' levels.♥
And pursue my dream to be a nurse.♥
And to be the person I desire to be.
Not one who is lost in the crowd.
Not one who will cry easily.
Not one who will get confused in the night.
Not one will be gets defeated easily.
I want to STAND UP and prove to ppl that I CAN DO IT!♥
I dun wan ppl to control my life.
Tell me to do this,to do that.
That sucks you know.
It's my life isn't it?
Why can't I do the thing that I like?
Why can't I like the thing that I love?
Why must I do the thing that U wanna me to do?
Why must I like the thing that U love.
Get it?
Yupp,I am such a naive person.
I thought that Once I believed,
I will be able to achieve the thing that I wanna achieve.
But it's never so easy.=)
And I hate those suckers out there trying to influence ppl's mind.
or trying to affect ppl's mood.
To ____, Even how I look U also wanna care.
YOU!
Wooooots~
I am not angry just dun like it.
It's not like U're anybody to me.♥
U are not even closed to me in e first place.♥
Get it?
LOL
Dun worry,it's not you.
Ahem....=)
And next week I am gonna study till mad.♥
Yup,Maybe someone is right.
I am trying to numb myself by doing that.
But What else can I do?
I have no choice isn't?
And I am so in love with Bakawini.♥
Omg,She's the BEST fren on earth.♥
Not one who willl control you,
Not one who will try to take advantage of you.
Not one who will comes to you only when she needs help.
But one who is understanding and never fails to stay beside me.
MUACKZZ to her,♥
A friend like her is enough for me.♥
=)
I know she won't be seeing this.
Cause she's busy mugging.
=)
And cynthia as well.=))♥
&&& Most importantly My beloved family members.
I used to vent my anger on you guys.
Used to turn a deaf ear to your advices.
Used to be a stubborn girl who insist things to be done in my way.
But I realise that I am wrong.=)
You guys are the reason why I hang on there.
Honestly speaking,Sometime I am lost.
When i can't differentiate who's MY true fren and who's NOT.
Well,just see who's beside you when U need someone.
When U're at ur worst.
=)
And sorry for typing so many crap.
HAHAHA,got so much thing to say.
Just bear with me kays?♥
HAPPY!=)♥
Cause of WEEKEND!♥
=)
& I've decided not to depend on that T'cher to help me le.
Useless anyway,If U dun like the heart to help me.
I got my way.=D
Oh so RANDOM.
=D
♥You can never imagined how beautiful my life is without you around.♥
I am not going to say it,But I am going to show it.
Well,to you.
Just bear some thing in mind.
Dun be such a jerk to made use of ppl.
And tried to shift the responsibility.
And made the fault goes to another person.
Cause that show so much about you.
=)
FAKE!♥
LOL=X
I am NOT going to start that topic.
And I seriously dun like the idea of T'cher readin student's post.
It's so NO PRIVACY.♥
LOL
I am being so random here.♥
Erm,gonna end off here le.
=)
♥I am never gonna force myself to forgive you.
IF i have a chance I will hurt you deeply.
DAMN DEEP.
Not giving u any chance to stand up again.
I dun care.
I am going to stay strong and prove to you that.
You're NOTHING AT ALL.♥
Revenge,Is what You want out of all this.
To make Her feel how U felt before.
To make her life miserable at the thought of losing you forever.
To let her know tat U're attached with another girl.
To give her heart pain and just u wanna see her suffer alone.
Sacrifice everything just to hurt her.
Even the innocent party.
Toying with other girls just to show tat U're strong.
But DID you ever consider the feeling of others????
The girl tat is attached to you and U're hurting her too?
GOT!
You got use ur bloody brain to ever think of that.
Yyou only think of urself,what about others???
Stop ur bloody bullshyt abt EMO.
You shouldn't even be the one emo-ing.
You've no rights to be sad.
Cause U're hurting other ppl,
Because of the word REVENGE.
What do you want in the end.
More people getting hurt bcos of ur ulterior motive?
Bloody hell,I am getting really pissed off here.
SORRY everyone for my language.
I am sorry,really sorry,
Just I cannot hide my feelings anymore.
I cannot pretend that Nothing has happened.
I need to say this out to get that thing out of my mind.
Why?
Why is my sec4 life sucks so much???
Nothing goes out well.
And YOU!
Bloody hell,I can only say that You'll have ur retribution soon.
You're so damn selfish...
DAMN DAMN DAMN selfish!!!!!
What's on ur mind wor.
Please get out of my life RIGHT NOW!!!
I dun even feel like seeing u ever in my life.
You sucks TOTALLY.
REVENGE? HAHAHAS!!!!!!!
Tat's so funny!
Real funny....=)
Hurt that girl still say wan revenge.
Isn't it funny???
Really pity that girl sia.
But I am happy for her that she's no longer stuck with YOU.
You used me to hurt that girl?
U must be crazy.
=D
I'm nt affected,NEVER!=)
OHMY,WHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHY????
Since when I become lyk tat alrdy?
Seriosuly I need to get out of sec skul ASAP!!!
I dun like what I am doing now,
NONE of it is good/worth to mention.
Everything is in a mess.
Everyone look so fake to me.
And pls dun mess with me.
I keep quiet doesn't mean I can tolearte you.
I tell you,I can't.
Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh~
Just let me say what I wanna say and I'll be back to my normal self again.
Trust me okays?
THAT person,Get this straight into ur head.
YOU're not even worth for me to remeber you.
You're just another him.
Ya,You are......
=))))
Can I stop being so emo?
Why? Why can't someone just be there to listen to my prob?
Yea,I got my bakas.
SO? Can I keep relying on them.
I nid to be independent too right?
=)
I will be strong with each setbacks.
I WILL!=DDDDDDD
I will give my best in my studies.
To let those who've affected me know that,
MY LIFE ROCKS WITHOUT YOU!
You're nobody to me.
Seriosusly,Go and use ur brain and think barhx.
Will U be happy after hurting those innocent people?
And This world had become so chaotic alrdy.
When Will peace be achieved.
Only in my dreams lah.
You hurt her,she hurt him then he hurt her den she hurt another him.
When will this bloody thing stop???
Never right?
This will just continue and MORE people will be affected.
And this will nt affect them for one day or two day
But for LIFE!
So can U just stop acting idiot.
Damn idiot U noe.
&&& That shows so much about you.
Serves U right to be a loner.
&&&& I am so freaking Stress.
Exams coming!
Stress from t'cher is too much for me.
Really I can't take it any longer.
To meet up to the expectation Of T'cher,parents and MYSELF!
Especially T'cher and myself.
This T'cher say My work has dropped.
That T'cher say I can achieve more.
WTH!
It's not I am not working hard.
But Iit's the fact that the standard is so high.
And I am trying so hard just to make U guys happy.
But who are there to make me happy.
U just saw ur pain and sufferings.
How about me?
I am not human mehx.
My smile and laughters in school looks so freaking fake.
Fake till I feel like laughing at myself.
I am such a loser.
You know?
When Will that day come.
The day when everyone ard me will realise that I am trying hard to pursue my dream.
I am not giving up.
I am not even slacking.
I am trying hard,very hard,damn hard.
But can you see it?
Can Uu acknowledge my hard work.
Why is there only criticism?
Will it do you any harm just to say praise ppl?
Even If u dun wanna praise at least not criticise,
Cause I am tired.
Please spare a thought of me.
Make me as a joke and laugh over it.
U got think dao how I will feel?
Ppl are just so selfish.
Everyone is selfish.
Nobody will ever cares about your feeling.
NEVER!
And my phone was being stolen by that DAMN GUY.
Idiot!
____ You sia.
I am at fault too.
But when can that police give me back my phone?
I need it badly.
Haiz,this year I no fate with my phone ah.
Damn It!=(
Omg,I am getting so vulgar here.
Must change!=)
For the sake of myself.
Not for anyone,Or even YOU!
For ppl who've affected me,Can U just be kind with ur words?
=)
Erm,must use this few days to forget all e unhappiness thing.
And start everything afresh.
'O' levels,I am going to conquer you.
I'll never die before I managed to achieve my dreams.
For ppl who hope that I'll never get to my dreams.
I can only say;"Just You wait"
I am gonna prove you wrong.
=)
HAHAHS!
My mood turns good alrdy.
=)
Blog have been a very good way to vent out my angers.
But I just simply hate those spammers.
Talk as if it's their prob lyk tat.
But eventually It's not even their problem.
I dun even give a damn.
I never change.
This is me!=)
To everyone out there who feel like giving up.
Don't kays?
Just set ur eyes at ur target and do everything to achieve that.
Of course not sacrificing ur loved ones or HURTING INNOCENT PARTY LAH.
I mean do ur very best.
101% EFFORT.
Don't give up before U can achieve sucess.
Trust me,Life is still beautiful.
=)
What will u see after rain?
Get It?=D
Nobody will be able to achieve sucess without pain and hardwork.
No pain,No gain Isn't it?=D
HAHAHAHHAHAHAS!!!!=D
Don't worry my bakas, I will be fine de.
I am a strong girl isn't it?=D
Erm,Takecare everyone.
And sorry for making u guys read such a emo post.
I dun like it either,But that's the only way I can forget those thing.
Please be understanding kays?
Muackzz to all!=D
[[It's not easy to be me.]]
I miss those days
When we will go plaza and slack for hours.
Just to chat like nobody's business.
Without having to care about anything.
Whether It will takes up our time or not.
We just enjoy each other company.
We can feel it when One of us are down.
Aand we're all ready to be there for each other.
My Bakas!=D
But now we don't have much time for each other.
I don't want.
=(
I really miss those days.
But it will come back right?
I am sure that it will coem back once 'O' Levels finishes.
=)
We'll work hard tgt de right?
I am sure we will...
Ahem I didn't went to school today.
Sick!
Ohya,My baka won't believe me de.
She'll just say I overslept.
Right BAKAWINI???
LOL!
And I am happy about it cos I get to rest for one day.
=)
I love Good Friday!!!
Although I don't know anything about good friday.
But I just love it for the fact that I can sleep late.
=)
This sat will be grandma's B'day.
I am happy about it!=)
Cause I can get to eat!!=)
Food always make me happy!=)
And Tomorrow I still need to go for creative chinese competition.
Oh come on la,Which part of me is creative?
LOL
I can bring back nothing for Fajar.
Just cert of participation only.
LMAO!
lolololol
But nvm la,Cos I can have early release at 12.45
Okay,Self consolation!=D
But I dun want to goooooooooooo!!
I love my blog songs now
Motivates me alot!=)
And the lyrics is so freaking meaningful.
=)
HAO LA!
Need to go rest la.
There's noone who matters as much as you do in my heart.
I have to admit that i did not tell you all my thoughts.
It's not becuase I want to hide from you.
But because I am lack of the courage.
Just have more patience towards me okays?
I can't promise you anything much,
But I can only promise you that I will try my very best.
=)
I don't care what others say.
I am in love with you!
forever 27.03.09
Booo
Finally here to blog again.
Hahahs,I wanna sleep.
Damn freaking tired.
Yesterday was a bad day for me.
Whole day bo mood wor.
Sorry for ytd alrights?
And I am so freaking idiot to cry.
LOLOLOLOLOLOL.
Maybe that fear is still with me ba.
I am sorry okay?
Oookayss,start with another random topic
I've got so much to say.
=)
Today, my Baka is going for SYF.
Me always there to support you de.
Remember it!
No matter what is the outcome.
You've done me proud.
OMG!
I sound like ur mum!
LOLOLOLOLOL.
&&& CONGRATS to another baka of mine.
Bakaara!
Congrats for getting a silver for ur band SYF.
=)
I promise you guy tat I will work hard wif you guys.
And we'll fulfil our dreams tgt de.
It's never easy,But once we believe...
WE CAN DO IT!
=)
&&& CONTINUE WITH MY RANDOM TOPIC.
Damn freaking pissed off with something.
YOU!
Stop saying that u're disappointed with me.
So what if i got tat marks?
Can't I have careless mistake also.
You think i god ah.
You only pro in saying,I am disappointed in you for getting this marks.
You think i no feeling de ah.
Say i slack,hell la.
The amount of hardwork i put in.
Did you see it?
I study,study,study,study den just because of that freaking careless mistake.
You say I nvr work hard den saying all those freaking disappointed words.
You tink i not disappointed ma?
Deep inside my heart,I feel bad.
And i resented myself for being so careless.
But what's the point of telling me tat u're disappointed.
You think i will care?
You only care about ur disappointment,what about me?
U are human,den i am not mehx.
And this is not e first time.
Shouldn't you be encouraging us?
Stop pouring cold water on us if you really wish tat we'll do well.
Biased you!=(
I am really very stressed out already.
I have tons of things to do.
To work hard on,so u bettter stop ur bloody nonsense abt disappointment.
Cause it's really no use de.
I am sorry for all this harsh words.
Cause I really can't stand the sight of you.
Maybe you really mean us well,I appreciate it alot.
Thank you!!!!
But please spare a thought for us.
Stressing us won't help at all.
Yupp,grades are important.
But must also care about our feeling.
If u nvr see me playing or slacking den STOP saying that I am not working hard.
Cos tat just pure bullshyt.
I will work extremely hard and I will prove you wrong.
Trust me,i will.
You wnat complain to whoever den go complain.
Cause i dun give a damn.
DONE!
And i feels so happy now
Cos It's bottled up in my heart for so long.
And i feels bad.
=)
Now,I feels happy because I have said what I longed to say.
Ahem,My F&N coursework finally finished already.
Although the content inside is just pierce of shit but I am happy.
Cause I did put in my hardwork.
My weekend!
Gonna sleep like noone's business I tell you.
Damn freaking tired,both phsyically and mentally.
Stressed!
Maybe my face don't show it but It doesn't mean tat idc wor.
Didn't meet YOU today,I am sorry.
Don't have the mood.
Dui Bu qi.
But Me will always miss you de alrights?
You'll always be missed by me.
Cause You're the best thing tat have occur to me so far.
I love my family,baka,friends and YOU!
I never want to lose any of you guys.
I will die de!!!
Okay,time to put a stop to all my crap.
Wonder who will really read words by words of what I wrote here.
So yupp,I love you guys.
Takecare!=)
WO AI NI [[ 27.03.09]]
I feel bad after that quarrel
I cried,not because I was afraid.
Because I am afraid.
I treasure you alot.
Every moment I spent with you.
It matter alot to me.
ILY!=)